Archie's Alien Disguise Page 3

  Before I have a chance to test how well they would grip the wall, something lands on my head. It’s a rope!

  I look up to find Pockets sticking his head out the window. He waves for me to take the rope. I’m slightly disappointed that I won’t get to try scaling the wall, but only slightly.

  I quickly slip my shoes back on and begin to climb the rough rope. I tell myself this is not at all like the time in gym class when I tried to climb the rope and my shorts fell down in front of the whole class. “Nope,” I say out loud, “not like that at all.” I soon reach the top and am proud to say that my pants are still safely around my waist.

  The room is cramped and dark. The walls are covered with paintings and tapestries showing scenes of knights having jousts.

  “Seen any ghosts yet?” I ask, landing on the carpeted floor with both feet.

  Pockets shakes his head. “But I did find the princess. She’s being kept in a room upstairs.”

  “And you made a friend!” I say, pointing to the little black cat who had followed Pockets into the castle.

  “Very funny,” Pockets says. “He won’t leave me alone.”

  I bend down to pet the cat, but he pulls back and rubs up against Pockets instead.

  “Now listen,” Pockets says. “We have to find a way to get to Princess Viola. There are two B.U.R.P. guards standing outside her room. We should—”

  But before he can finish talking, the door creaks open and my heart starts thudding. Pockets pushes me into a dark corner of the room. I hold my breath.

  “There you are, big kitty!” the boy’s voice says. To my horror, he swoops Pockets into his arms, groaning a little at the cat’s weight, and carries him out of the room! The door swings shut behind them, but not before I hear the boy say, “We’re going to play together all day!”

  For a minute I don’t move. The little black cat is pawing at the closed door, meowing. Do I go after them? What would Pockets want me to do? I replay the scene in my mind. Pockets could have defended himself. He could have used any of the gadgets in his pockets, or even his own strength to fight off the boy, but he didn’t. He just pretended to be a regular cat. That must mean he had something to gain by being taken. The only thing I can think of is that by going along, he’ll be able to find out what B.U.R.P. plans to do with the Staff of Power once they get it.

  That means that it’s up to me to rescue the princess!

  I think for a minute, looking around the small room. I don’t see any way out besides the window and the door. I wish I’d thought to bring my space map. It worked when we were flying underwater on the planet Nautilus; maybe it would have shown me how to get to the princess.

  It’s doubly hard to think because the little black cat is running in circles around the room and it’s making me dizzy. He finally darts over to one wall and starts pawing at a tapestry hanging there. If he keeps pulling on it, he’s going to rip the fabric. He finally nudges it aside and ducks behind it. I look closer. Where’d he go?

  I pull the tapestry back, and instead of seeing the wall behind it, I spot an open doorway! Pockets’s new friend found a secret passageway! He must have felt a breeze. I’ll have to remember that for the next time I find myself locked in a maybe-haunted castle. I pause for only one more second, then run straight through, letting the tapestry fall into place behind me.

  This turns out to be a mistake. It’s completely dark in here. If only I’d thought to bring those night vision goggles!

  After a minute my eyes begin to adjust. I blink. Yes! I can see the outline of the damp stone walls and the uneven steps in front of me. I rub my eyes, and things get even clearer. These new eyes may not be able to see through walls, but they can see in the dark!

  I scramble up the stairs, not knowing where I’m headed, just that I have to go up. The stairwell twists and turns. I find the black cat curled up on a stair, cleaning his ears with his paw. He doesn’t even glance up as I step past him.

  I stop when I hear a faint noise coming from the other side of the wall. It sounds like… burping? Do ghosts burp?

  There it is again, followed by a brief giggle.

  “Ack!” I jump back as something soft rubs against my leg. It takes a second to realize it’s only that cat again! But now I can’t keep my balance, and I go headfirst into the wall beside me.

  Only it isn’t a wall! It’s a door painted to look like a wall! The door swings open, and I go crashing right through it.

  I land hard on the stone floor of a brightly lit room. A yellow-haired, three-eyed girl stands above me with her hands on her hips. She glares at me, burps, and says, “Ever heard of knocking?”

  Then she burps again.

  This princess is nothing like the ones in the fairy tales!

  Chapter Seven:

  The Great Escape

  I quickly jump to my feet. “Sorry to burst in,” I say, rubbing my sore butt. Then I stop, because that looks weird. “But hey, I found you!”

  She looks me up and down as the little black cat winds in and out of her legs. Her face softens. “Yes, you found me. But who ARE you? I’ve never seen you before. You’re not with them, are you?” On the word them, she crumples her nose like she smells something bad.

  “No, no, I’m here to rescue you,” I promise her.

  She glances down at her boots. “And this is your cat?”

  I shake my head. “I’m actually here with a different cat. He has bottomless pockets.”

  “Huh?” she asks.

  Why did I say that? “Never mind,” I add quickly. “Let’s just get out of here before they find us.”

  “Sorry about the burping before,” she says, grabbing her cloak from the back of a chair. “You wouldn’t believe the gassy stuff they’ve been feeding me! Beans and broccoli for every meal!”

  “It’s all right,” I say. “I have a three-year-old sister. You wouldn’t believe the things that come out of her.”

  She smiles and says, “I can’t believe I didn’t think to check for any secret doors in the walls. I feel foolish.”

  “Don’t feel bad. B.U.R.P. is very tricky.”

  “We’re still talking about my burping?” she says. “I said I was sorry. I know it’s not very princess-like.”

  “No, no, this is a different kind of burp. It’s the name of the group who took you.”

  The princess’s brows squish together in confusion. “No one took me. I was invited here by circus performers,” she says. “They were dressed up in colorful costumes and masks, and they invited me to come see a play they were performing at the haunted castle.” She pauses, then grumbles, “Never did see any play.”

  I tilt my head toward her. “Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to go wandering off with strangers?”

  “Yes, smarty-pants. But my bodyguard said it was okay.”

  I think of Hector asleep in that shed. Somehow I don’t picture him letting her go off with anyone. “Did he really?”

  She looks down. “Well, no. But he wasn’t around for some reason and I wanted an adventure. I admit, it didn’t turn out so well. Why would they keep me here?”

  “Basically, they’re after the Staff of Power,” I tell her. “But we really need to leave now.”

  Her eyes widen. “What would a group of circus performers want with the Staff of Power?”

  I roll my eyes. This girl is not getting it. “They aren’t circus performers,” I explain as patiently as possible. “B.U.R.P. is a criminal organization trying to take over the universe.”

  “What’s a universe?”

  Oops! I can’t explain what the universe is without telling her about all the other planets and galaxies, and I’m sure that Pockets would forbid that. So I just shake my head and say, “I’ll explain later. We have to go.”

  She nods and runs down the stairs ahead of me. Her heavy boots clatter loudly on the stairs, and I want to suggest maybe she take them off, but I’m not going to tell a princess what to do.

  We haven’t gotten very fa
r when we hear, “Stop right there!” We double our speed. I have no idea where the stairs actually lead. Hopefully not to a solid stone wall. Or a dungeon!

  Suddenly, laser beams go shooting over our heads! The princess blinks in shock and stumbles on the stairs. “What is that? I’ve never seen a light so bright.”

  I reach out to steady her. “Um, maybe the sun is shining in through cracks in the walls?” I hold my breath, hoping she buys that story.

  “I guess,” she says uncertainly.

  “The staff is ours,” a man’s voice shouts. “There’s no escape!”

  “I recognize that voice,” the princess says. “He’s one of the circus performers!”

  This time I don’t bother to correct her. Especially since the man might be right! I don’t see any escape.

  “Oh yes there is!” another voice shouts from below. This voice I know! Pockets bursts into view, waving us forward. As soon as we pass by him on the stairs, he pulls out a gadget I’ve seen him use once before—the invisible force field! He aims it at the stairs above us. One after the other, the two men who were chasing us run right into it! They bounce backward and wind up tangled together, shouting and waving their arms and legs. The princess looks at Pockets, and then at the men who don’t have three eyes who just ran into something she can’t see. Then she crumples gracefully to the floor.

  “Quick,” Pockets shouts. “Grab her and follow me.”

  “But she’s as big as me,” I say, bending down. “What if I drop her?”

  “You’re stronger than you look,” he says.

  He’s right! My arms aren’t only long, they’re really strong! I easily lift the princess and carry her over my shoulder. The B.U.R.P. guys are still trapped behind the force field, but it won’t take long till they figure out a way around it.

  I hurry after Pockets, who has found a back door. Once outside he heads right for the stables and unties a huge white horse from a post. A rickety-looking wooden cart is attached to the horse with a frayed rope.

  Pockets points to the cart. “Are you okay riding back there with the princess?”

  I’m really not. It looks like a carnival ride my mother would never let me go on. “Do I have a choice?” I ask.

  “Certainly,” he says, slipping his paws in the spurs. “You can always stay here with B.U.R.P., the ghosts, and a lot of hungry cats.”

  Suddenly, the cart doesn’t look so bad. Holding the princess, I climb in. It sags and groans under our weight.

  The horse starts to move. We don’t even get off the castle grounds before the back door bangs open. “Hurry,” I shout to Pockets. “They got around the force field!”

  The princess stirs. Her eyes flutter open. She takes in the scene around her, and then her eyes bulge. “Is that a giant cat riding horseback?” she asks.

  I nod.

  “And the men with the strange lights are chasing us?” she asks, looking out the back of the cart as it bounces down the dirt road.

  “Yes,” I say. “And there’s a boy our age here, too, somewhere.”

  The men are getting closer. I can see their faces clearly now. They look close to human, but with longer noses and shorter legs.

  “But… but what happened to them?” she asks with a shaky voice. “Where’s their middle eye? And why do they only have two arms?”

  I try to think fast. “Um, maybe they come from far away where people look different? You know, like from the other side of the river.”

  She shakes her head. “I’ve been to the other side of the river. My bodyguard, Hector, takes me there sometimes for jousting lessons. Girls aren’t supposed to joust, but Hector’s the best. So I know they don’t have two-armed, two-eyed men and cats who ride horseback there.”

  The men start firing their lasers again. One beam burns a hole in the side of the cart! The princess and I scramble away from the flames. Pockets whirls around and with one paw shoots a stream of foam to put out the fire.

  The princess begins breathing heavily, her eyes wild with surprise. The men can’t keep up with our horse and finally fall behind.

  “I’m going to take a shortcut to the castle,” Pockets shouts to us. “It’ll be a bumpy ride, but we must get there before B.U.R.P. does, and we don’t want to be seen!”

  The princess turns to ask me, “Did that cat just talk to us? I thought I heard him speak on the stairs, but I figured I imagined it.”

  I nod, since obviously I can’t deny it. “Yeah, he can do that. I know, it’s weird.”

  “Really weird,” she agrees.

  “His name is Pockets,” I tell her.

  She smiles. “Let me guess—he’s the cat with the bottomless pockets?”

  I know she’s teasing me, but I don’t mind. “Yup,” I say.

  “So I know your cat’s name, but I don’t know your name,” she says. “Are you training with my father to be a knight?”

  I laugh. “No. I mean, I wish I were. I’m just a regular kid. My name is Archie Morningstar.”

  Pockets suddenly cuts to the left, across the nearest farm. He wasn’t kidding about it being bumpy. The princess and I bounce nearly three feet in the air.

  “Sorry about that,” Pockets shouts back at us.

  “Well,” the princess says, gripping the sides of the cart tightly, “I did want an adventure!”

  I can’t believe it, but we make it to the princess’s castle without losing a wheel or throwing up or being attacked by B.U.R.P. again. The king and a dozen knights in armor come streaming out of the front gate. This castle is about ten times the size of the haunted castle. It’s the biggest building I’ve ever seen up close.

  The king is wearing a tall gold crown and a red cape. The Staff of Power must be the thin metal pole he is waving above his head. I expected it to be covered in gold and jewels, but it doesn’t look much different from the rod that holds up the curtains in our living room.

  Before she jumps out of the cart, Princess Viola leans over and whispers, “I’m pretty sure you’re not just a regular kid, Archie Morningstar. Thank you for rescuing me.” And then she kisses me on the cheek!

  My hand flies up to my face, and I’m sure that my cheeks must be bright red. Pockets chuckles from atop his horse.

  The princess runs up to her father and they hug. Then the king turns to us. “I demand to know what is going on. First my daughter stays out all night, worrying me to no end, and now what looks like a giant cat returns her on my missing guard’s horse.”

  “The cat can talk!” the princess tells her father. “I’ve heard him!”

  “Meow?” Pockets says meekly.

  The princess puts her hands on her hips and glares at Pockets. “Very funny. I heard you before.”

  “She’s telling the truth,” a deep voice says from behind us. I whirl around to find Hector, the ISF bodyguard. And he’s holding up the two B.U.R.P. guys by their shirt collars, one in each paw. The boy in the black cape must have escaped. “Are you all right, Princess Viola?” Hector asks.

  The knights draw their swords and form a protective circle around the king and the princess. The princess stares at the huge cat from inside the circle of knights. “Hector?” she asks. “Is that you? It sounds like you, but how can it be that you are a cat now, when before you were a man?”

  “It is still me, Your Highness,” Hector says, bowing slightly. “I am sorry to have hidden my true identity from you, but it was for the betterment of your world. I am an Intergalactic Security Force officer. I was sent here to protect you and the Staff of Power.” He tilts his head at Pockets. “The talking cat you mentioned is a fellow ISF officer. He was sent here to help.”

  In one swift move, Pockets leaps off the horse and onto the back of one of the bad guys. A second later, the guy is in handcuffs. Hector does the same with the other guy.

  The king looks from one cat to the other. “Who sent you two? In what land can cats speak and catch criminals? And why are these men so strange-looking? They only have two eyes and two hands!”
He shudders.

  I’m pretty sure the king won’t buy my explanation about the other side of the river, so I keep my mouth shut.

  “Just give us the staff and we will be on our way,” one of the men demands.

  “The staff?” the king repeats.

  “Didn’t you get their note demanding the Staff of Power in exchange for Princess Viola?” Pockets asks, speaking in front of the king for the first time.

  “What note?” the king asks.

  “This one,” Hector says. He reaches into a pocket of fur and pulls out a scroll. He hands the scroll to the king.

  “Hector’s got pockets in his fur, too!” I whisper to Pockets.

  “It’s a space cat thing,” he whispers back.

  “I was able to grab this out of the messenger’s bag before it reached the castle,” Hector explains. “I couldn’t risk your handing over the staff.”

  The king reads B.U.R.P.’s demands. “I will take it from here,” he tells Pockets and Hector. To his knights he says, “Do not let these criminals escape.” The knights step forward and place heavy armored hands on the bad guys’ shoulders.

  Pockets pulls out his phone. “I have to call my father,” he explains.

  Seems like a strange time to say hi, but when his father answers, Pockets goes into this whole story about how we tried to fit in here, but in the end we had no choice and now the king knows too much. His father’s voice booms through the other end of the phone. “You know what you have to do, Pilarbing Fangorious!”

  Pockets tries to argue. “Not that! Please, Dad, anyone but—”

  His dad hangs up. Pockets grits his teeth, then makes another call. This time I don’t hear anything from the other end. But a moment later, a shimmer appears in the air. Before I can blink, a tiny red alien with waving antennae and one big eye stands in front of us. His little round spaceship hovers a few feet above the ground. I gasp in surprise, and I’m not the only one. One of the knights actually faints! The king pulls the princess close, but she squirms away to get a closer look. If Pockets is trying to keep them from knowing about life on other planets, he’s not doing a very good job of it by bringing this guy here.